btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
