Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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