i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
