This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
