it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Two words: nipple clamps
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