That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
