Me too!
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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