Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
