You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
