WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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