The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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