i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
