I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
