she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
