you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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