are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
