I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
