K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
