I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
