mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
