HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
