new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize