I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
