I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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