We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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