I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
