Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
