Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
