I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
