wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
