I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
did you just send me my own nude
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
