with your own penis?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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