I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
