Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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