so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
