I hope mine doesn't look like that
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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