i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
