i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
