he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
