the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
