theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
