so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
