I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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