Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
