Ketchup is God's man juice
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
