We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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