like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
