Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
