But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
