I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
