Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize