i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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