How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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