I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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