You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
