There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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