After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
