I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize
