My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
