If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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